"No one ever saw me like you do,
All the things that I could add up to,
I never knew just what a smile was worth,
But your eyes say everything without a single word.
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me."-Christian Bautista(The Way You Look At Me)
EXAMS ARE ALMOST OVER.(1 paper left)
This year's been seriously not a good one. Being in Secondary three meant that i had to shoulder new responsibilities this year. New subjects. New leadership posiitions. New this and that. And to put it simply, i wasn't responsible enough to care about my studies. Been screwing up in almost everything.
I NEED TO IMPROVE. to improve on certain aspects of my life, socially, academically and spiritually.
I've been backsliding from cell group for mths, due to tution on sundays. I don't really have a choice. I feel that studies should be one of my priorities, owing to the obvious fact that O's are in next october.
And yet people ask me, "Ben,do you only think of studying?" Come on. I'm already two gazillion times as screwed as last year when i recieved my mid-term results. I don't know what's happening. It's like, i totally lost the motivation to study. I know it's not a good thing to skip cg, but at least please spare a thought for me. My results suck and i HAD to try to pull myself up. But you see, nothing's working so far. I guess it's due to my poor relationship with God. SORRY AGAPE FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO ATTEND CELL AS MUCH AS I WANT TO. I'll try to anyway.
I feel that i've not been able to grow in the cell group this year. I think that it's due to the lack of communication between me and the rest. And then what aggravated it was the RUMOURS going around the cell about me. Almost my whole cell knows about it. Why. Can't you people just stop asking me about it. WHY? I mean it's over. We're just good friends now. Have i done something wrong? Please stop probing, it'll only make me feel worse okay?
It's been 3 months and i've been acting like some pathetic doggie all this while. No, i've decided not to anymore. It's a tiring process. Forget it. I want to be a ren, not a gou. That's why both me and ____ are just friends now.. I WANT TO BE A KIND SUPERMAN.
I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT. SOMEONE HELP. actually no one will understand how i feel...
Do you actually think you can forget a loved-one so easily? It's hard to let go...
"Well you're the closest thing I have
To bring up in a conversation
About a love that didnt last
But I could never call you mine
Cause I could never call myself yours
And if we were really meant to be
Well then we justified destiny
It's not that our love died
Just never really bloomed
Well I cant let go
No, I cant let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to
I cant let go
No I can't move on from the past
Without lifting a finger youre holding me back
And then we saw our paths diverge
And I guess I felt okay about it.
Until you got away with another man,
And then I couldnt understand
Why it bothered me so.
How we didnt die we just
Never had a chance to grow.
And it might not make much sense
To you or any of my friends
Though somehow still you affect the
Things I do.
And you can't lose what you never had
I don't understand why I feel sad
Every time I see you out with someone new.
I can't let go
No, I can't let go of you
You're holding me back without even trying to.
I can't let go
No I cant move on from the past
Without lifting a finger you're holding me back."-Can't Let Go(Landon Pigg)
This song, clearly expressed my true feelings. To REITERATE, watching a loved one walk away is one of the hardest things to get over...
BUT well, I shall be optimistic. In life, there are setbacks, but however, I believe and have faith that God will make a way and make up for my losses! :D
I SHALL/ WILL IMPROVE MYSELF IN CERTAIN ASPECTS IN MY LIFE! PRAY TO GOD MORE OFTEN! AND BE FRIENDLIEST THAN EVERS!
Hahaha. Anyway about my exams, i think i will fare badly again. Probably pass both sciences and languages and humans(except geog...i hope NOT)....And flunk the rest. YEAH, you know what the REST are. DuH. MY double maths.
I DIDN'T STUDY HARD THIS YEAR BUT I WILL...DURING THE HOLS!
Anyway, i'm not really interested in entering the sciences in jc, most probably i'll be going to arts. I love HUMANities. Hahaha.
ENOUGH OF MY INCESSANT RANDOMNESS.
LOL :p
UNTIL NEXT TIME, DUDES.
PEACEOUT.
BPKY mister or maestro?;
4:17 PM
YO!
EXAMS ARE OVER WOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO( I AM GHOST.)
PUNDEH.
FINALLY
CAN FK* LIAO! :D
PWNAGE!
Y35
ENN ZEROO!
FK*-fly kite.
BPKY mister or maestro?;
6:33 PM
